The power of regret on our lives
A flow of thoughts on regret, responsibility, and how our life decisions are often unconsciously driven by these emotions.
I was recently reading 'Thinking, Fast and Slow' of Daniel Kahneman, and on chapter 32, titled 'Keeping Score', I stumbled upon very interesting insights (which the book is packed with) on how we deal with regret in our lives and the role played by the anticipation of regret. As the content shared by the author on this topic really resonated with me and brought consciousness into something I could not actively explain into words but I felt important, I just want to share some thoughts and considerations on it.
Part 1 - Mental accounts
Behavioural economics is the core topic discussed in the book, and tons of biases and heuristics shaping our life decisons are displayed, providing some amazing insights as to how our minds work and why humans behave the way they do.
The first concept treated in the chapter I want to write about in this post are Mental Accounts. They are unflexible schemes we have in our minds dominating many areas of our daily existence. For example, we hold our money in different accounts, we set the table in a specific pattern, or we increase the time spent exercising, only to have a sense of control.
An iconic example created by Richard Thaler explains best how mental accounting works:
Two avid sports fan plan to travel 40 miles to see a basketball game. One of them paid for his ticket; the other got one for free from a friend. A blizzard is announced for the night of the game. Which of the two ticket holders is more likely to brave the blizzard to see the game?
The answer is rather immediate: the fan who paid for the ticket is more likely to drive, as his mental account would close negative if he missed the game. And this is an unconscious emotional response that classical economics would not account for. But it exists, and it is instinctively dictated by 'System 1', the part of our brain responsible for impulsive decisions guided by emotional reactions.
In order to make a more rational choice driven by 'System 2', we would have to ask ourselves: "Would I still drive into this snowstorm if I had gotten the ticket free from a friend?". It takes discipline and an active mind to raise and give an honest answer to such a question.
Part 2 - Regret
Regret is an emotion, and it is also a punishment we administer to ourselves.
With this sentence the author introduces regret and the fear of regret, a key factor influencing many of our decisions ("do not do this, you will regret it" is a common warning). The anticipation of regret is one of the elements that really often prevent us from taking action.
A quite extreme but worth mentioning example made in the book is that of a physician with a gravely ill patient. Let's say the doctor is faced with two treatment choices: one fits the normal standard of care; one is unusual. The physician has some evidence, although inconclusive, that the unconventional treatment improves the patient's chances. The physician who prescribes the unusual treatment faces a substantial risk of regret, blame, and possibly litigation. In hindsight, it will be easier to imagine the normal choice, as it would be easier to undo in the case of a negative outcome.
We spend much of our day anticipating and trying to avoid the emotional pains we inflict to ourselves; however, as difficult as it is, we should ask ourselves how reasonable it is to be influenced by anticipation of regret, which is a susceptability we must adjust. And a good suggestion of Nobel prize winner Kahneman is to take precautions against regret by being explicitly conscious about its anticipation. As he continues, " my personal hindsight-avoiding policy is to be either very thorough or completely casual when making a decision with long-term consequences".
"We discovered an excellent dish at that restaurant and we never try anything else, to avoid regret".
